why don't i listen

DISCLAIMER:  this post is a stream of consciousness and may not make any sense to anyone, but it is how things are going through my head.

i am sitting here at work....bored out of my mind again, and i am wondering why i can't seem to listen to God when He tells me to do something.  so i got this email this morning asking for prayer for a friend.  when i read it i was like so this is why she has been on my heart for like two weeks.  and i still haven't called her or anything and it has been two weeks.  this is not the first time a situation like this has occurred.  i seem to ignore God's little hints a lot.  the thing that i am trying to figure out is why do i continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. 

in every other phase of life people eventually learn change their actions in order to meet a certain goal.  i can't figure out how listening to God is any different than any other part of life.  but it seems to be different.  maybe it has something to do with that whole idea of free will.  you don't really have a choice to listen to your parents, or at least i didn't.  but God gives you that choice and it makes Him so happy when we do listen.  even when we don't, He continues to talk to us to give us yet another chance to listen and choose Him.

first week of school

i have officially made it through the first week of class, and i managed to miss only one class.  even though this is just the end of the first week i am already geared up for fall break and then the end of the semester.  i have heard that you hit a point, usually in like your junior year, when you start to feel like you are so far from the end that you just want to give up.  well this is year number 5 and i am supposed to be graduating in may but i feel like there is about a million miles between me and that diploma. 

i guess if i felt as though i was actually going to graduate the stress of actually having to know what i am going to do once i am out of school would be greater.  as of right now i have absolutely no idea what i am going to do with my life, but i am open to suggestions.

new job

i didn't die

so i realized that it has been a while since i posted anything, so here goes.  this summer has been shear madness.  i don't think i have ever done so many random things in the course of one summer in my entire life.  i have been to three different youth camps, which let me tell you that was just loads and loads of fun.  i went to springfield, missouri for rui, which i still haven't processed through all of the stuff that was dumped on us in a three day period.  but i'm not sure if it was rui or the car ride there and back that was the most painful on my brain.  let me just say there were many deep topics covered in both places.  then i spent two weeks in tenerife.  there just aren't enough words to describe all of the things that we did and the things that happened to me on that trip.  as soon as we got back from tenerife with serious jet lag the chi alpha cafe' remodel began.  so if anyone needs anything painted, i'm an expert now and will gladly supervise.  i no longer take part in the actual labor.  the cafe' looks great now and one day there will be things on the wall again, but that day is not today.  after a week of manual labor i got a week of house/dog sitting for some very special people.  the dog is even more spoiled now and i just don't know why.  somehow at the end of july the beginning of august all of the brain power is being needed.  i'm having to start thinking about when school starts and having a lifegroup and planning for chi alpha events and all of this stuff that i am so not qualified to do.  since all of that started i have had a constant headache for like two weeks.  and i'm not even finished, next week is leadership retreat and then fall start-up.  after looking at all of this stuff i think things may slow down once school starts again, even though i hate the idea of going back to class.  this is my summer in a nut shell.  if you want more details too bad. :)

ahhhh kids

so for my job at the moment i am babysitting for like three different people.  i have always enjoyed kids, but now all of them just drive me crazy.  the other day i wasn't with them for 15 minutes and i had already made one of them cry.  so now i have realized that i should be praying for patients; i obviously don't have enough these days. 

today i took two of the kids that i keep to the zoo.  during the like 2 hours we were gone, i threatened to turn the car around like three times, and i had to pull the car over twice to keep from killing all of us as i tried to control the fight in the back seat.  this is one of the first times that i have to agree with the saying that "babysitting is the best birth control."  so no one needs to worry about me having any kids any time soon.